I'm having a hard time believing it... and yet!

Good evening, I am new to the site. My favorite topics are astrology, intuition, and shamanism, and I admit that I am skeptical about the concept of guardian angels… but it also intrigues me… because I sometimes have the sensation of a presence at my side… and I also sometimes wake up with the impression that I have left someone close to me behind! In short, I would really like someone to explain more to me about the subject (what I have read so far has not really resonated with me) or to give me some leads on how to get in touch with my guardian angel (if I have one, of course). Thank you to those who are willing to enlighten me on the subject. I should add that I am an atheist; perhaps that is what is holding me back from understanding this concept more deeply???. Nevertheless, I have a spiritual life that is more oriented toward philosophy and guided by intuition. There you go… perhaps I will read from you again soon.