This concerns my 9-year-old son.

Hello Marynela

I am reaching out to you because I would like to help my son, Sébastien
He was born on March 6, 2003, at 3:32 a.m. in Toulouse.
He has a lot of concentration problems, he is always talking (off-topic), he does not want to work, and he does not like school.
He tells us what his sister or brother does, as long as it might harm them. His little brother has a figurine character, and Sébastien hides it to keep it for himself. His sister counts the coins that “the mouse” brought her, and he tries to keep some for himself. At the table, he is barely served when he already looks to see if there is any left so he can serve himself more. When he plays with his brother and sister, he always chooses a game in which he is sure to win. When we go grocery shopping, in every aisle he suggests something for us to buy, even if it is of no use to us.
Her sister lost a tooth the day before yesterday, and yesterday she didn’t think to check if there was a surprise under her pillow. Yesterday, S. Sébastien went to check and told her, “The mouse came by.” In the evening, when he’s in bed, he listens to the conversations, what’s on TV, etc.
In his bed, you can find all sorts of things: he sleeps with books wrapped in a scarf, and he has a small bag containing a whole assortment of odds and ends—Playmobil figures, candy wrappers, pebbles, leaves, pieces of wood, his judo medals, and so on.
And on top of that, he can be adorable and helpful, but I don’t know what to do to help him calm down, and as a result, he stresses me out constantly. He’s not hyperactive (I’ve seen a doctor).
If you can help us, that would be great!
I was born on February 12, 1967, in department 59.

Thank you

Good evening,

Could you please tell me the age of his brother and sister?
The little I feel is that he wants to have authority, to be the biggest, to know everything about everything.
He is very active, but I sense a deep sadness within him that he will not show you: the fact of being on guard for everything and knowing everything.
I won't be much help, but you should see a child psychiatrist; they are very good at monitoring children's development and could give you some advice.
Your son still needs to be treated like a little one despite his age; he needs recognition. The fact that he piles up all his toys suggests that he still feels like a baby in need of protection and affection. You need to be able to play games together as a family, without him being the one to choose, and to help him understand that his brother and sister are just like him, that there is no difference, that everything is shared, and that you love them all equally. In a family, you must help each other and share everything to live happily.
Keep me posted, and above all, see a child psychiatrist or get some psychological support, but I know that thanks to this, you'll find your little one's joy again.

Marylena

Good evening
Thank you for your response. Her sister is 7 years old and her brother is 5. I think what also worries her is that I have another daughter who is 17 years old. I haven’t seen her for 7 years. I was married for 15 years to a violent man. I filed for divorce, which took 4 years, and I had to flee my home, but the judge left my daughter with her father. In the meantime, I rebuilt my life and had my son.
The last time I brought my daughter, my ex-husband assaulted me for 10 days of ITT; I was pregnant with my daughter, but the court dismissed the case and recommended that I call my ex’s boss for help if he did it again. He threatened my children with death.
I had to resign myself to never going back. When my son asks me questions, I answer them simply, without hiding anything. He tells me that I should have gone to get her, and I tell him, “Yes, but I had to protect you too.”
Right now, he says he's afraid of death (my father passed away 18 months ago).
Here it is, it's complicated, but I'm not lying to him. I'm just trying to answer simply and honestly; in September, he will start seeing a psychologist at a CMPP.

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Hello,

Yes, your son is living in fear; it is good that he can be followed by the CMPP.
He really needs to be protected and to feel safe, so it’s good not to tell him anything
hide, but it will take him a long time to recover from so much uncertainty, but he will get there
to master yourself, and do not show your fear because he feels it too
He has remained a child at heart, but with time he will open up to the world.
Keep me updated on his progress.
Good luck

Marylena