A bit of everything...

Good evening Lemagicien,

I am reaching out to you to discuss two matters:

1. I have many questions about my work. I expect a lot, even some change, whether it’s in my position or in the financial sector. What can you tell me about this, please? My numbers: 12-14-16.

2. I am on bad terms with one of my sisters. She has decided to lump everyone into the same category (i.e., my parents and my other sister, since they did not take sides, feeling that our quarrel did not concern them). Do you see any improvement in this situation, whether for my parents, my other sister, or for me? My numbers: 13-6-18.

Thanks in advance for your feedback.

See you soon!

Hello Melahel,

As for your job and your financial situation, I cannot predict any changes for the time being.
Your family situation will be able to improve, so be patient, as a reconciliation with your sister will take place, but give time its course; she will come back to you.

See you soon
The magician.

Hello Lemagicien,

I am following up with you regarding these two matters.

The first one concerning work…
I have to attend an interview for my annual performance review. My boss told me she would request a raise… I should know by May.
What bothers me a bit is that I like my current job, but it’s not easy to balance work and personal life. So I discussed the idea of becoming a foster parent with my husband. I have to attend an information meeting in March.
Should I keep my current position (with the small financial benefits) or take the risk of leaving it (with the risk that it may not ultimately suit me)?
Here are my numbers: 10-14-16.

Otherwise, to get back to the second topic: no change on the horizon. My sister and her partner are sticking to their guns (including with regard to my parents and my other sister). The longer they take to come back, the harder it will be for them, because I hold grudges! (and I’m not the only one in the family…).

Thanks in advance for listening.

Aude

Hello Melahel - Aude,

I think you would need to take a course to become a foster carer.
To answer your question, it would NOT be a good idea to leave your current position!
As for the family matter, everyone needs to tone it down for things to work out, but who will be the first to make a move is the dilemma.

Have a good day

The magician.

Good evening,

A quick follow-up on the topic.
I just attended an information session about the job of a foster carer and I can confirm that I’m not going to do it for the time being. I’m going to focus on my two kids before taking care of other people’s… lol. Hoping I don’t end up disappointed with my current job…
Regarding the family matter, my parents have been at my sister’s place since Monday until tomorrow… I hope for them that their stay went well, as they had high expectations but were also apprehensive… More to come!
As soon as there's any news, I'll let you know.

Hello Melahel,

Thank you for your clairvoyance feedback!
I think you made the right decision.
In the family matter, if each person can temper their stance a bit, you can expect an improvement in the relationships.

Happy Sunday

The magician.

Hello Lemagicien,

Since your last message, my sister has decided to cut things off with the rest of the family (i.e., my other sister and my parents) for good. She clearly told my parents that they would no longer see their grandchildren. She has forbidden her in-laws from giving my parents any news about the little ones. My parents are therefore taking the situation very badly, as they are cut off from their two youngest grandchildren.
Do you see the situation improving for them?
My numbers: 8-3-7.
Thanks in advance for your feedback.
See you soon.

Hello Melahel,

Things will work out, because the family reason will ultimately prevail, but be a little more patient. What comes to mind is that all your problems are probably due to a financial matter or an inheritance that your sister feels is unfair to her… That’s my impression…
Things will work out for your parents, and as I already said four months ago, you should all try to keep your cool!

I wish you a good late afternoon

The magician.

Thank you for your reply!

In return, here is some reading to explain what comes to mind:

Indeed, it’s a trivial amount of money that’s at the root of the quarrel. A quarrel that was originally between “sisters.” We chip in for our parents’ gifts. Once, my sister “No. 1” asked if we could contribute a bit more. I replied that I couldn’t at the time of the request, that I needed to get my finances in order (between the sale of one property and the purchase of another). And that didn’t sit well with my sister “No. 2,” who quickly chimed in with some gratuitous meanness (as is her habit), her conclusion being that she would now prefer that I no longer contribute, since it’s always complicated with me… So as not to disrupt their plan, I contributed to the expense. In late September, my sister “No. 2” came back to my sister “No. 1” and to me for the purchase of our parents’ year-end gift (which she had bought without asking for our input). So I copy-pasted her remarks made several months earlier (namely that she no longer wanted me to contribute). And of course, I knew she wouldn’t like it, I knew it would trigger a “third world war,” but I was going through a difficult time in my life where I didn’t feel like “giving in.” Tired of always saying “amen” to everything, and especially to her and her gratuitous meanness… I admit I was harsh in my words, but I don’t regret having said them!
Where you feel she’s “wronged,” it’s that she misinterpreted my comments about a photo with all the grandchildren.
Anyway, she feels wronged about everything. She even took my father to task for how he cooked the pasta!!! And telling my mother that the only place she felt comfortable was at my maternal grandparents' house!!!

I fully understand that we need to temper our expectations, but everyone has made concessions: except her! She is the one who burned all the bridges. We all tried to have a discussion with them (since my brother-in-law did nothing to ease the situation, quite the opposite). They refused to talk to everyone and said each time: everything has been said!
What do you want us to do more?
It’s up to them (I’d even say: to them) to put in some effort, but there are so many of them that they risk drowning!!!

I'll keep you posted if the situation changes.

Good evening Lemagicien,

Just a quick message to let you know that nothing has changed since my last message (which was over a year ago).
The only thing I’ve learned recently is that my sister and her husband are now on bad terms with his parents (I don’t know why). They haven’t been in touch with them for a few months. My sister’s husband raised his hand to his parents and threw them out in the middle of the night…
So who's up next to water down their wine???
Good evening.