Hello dear Marie!
Fibromyalgia It is a musculoskeletal disorder characterized by constant pain, sensitivity, muscle burning, disturbed sleep, extreme fatigue (loss of energy), and acute morning stiffness. There are 18 particularly painful points distributed throughout the body: muscles and tendons located at the shoulders, neck, between the shoulder blades, lower back, sciatic nerve, knees, elbows, wrists, and chest. The persistence of at least two of these points is sufficient for diagnosis. Seven women for every one man are affected. Some causes include a chronic imbalance of the nervous system following an emotional shock or an accident, an overzealous immune system (which continues to act against a non-existent or no longer present virus, for example after a flu), or a disturbance of deep sleep. This leads me to think that I am “worthless” and makes me feel powerless to make changes in my life.
This syndrome (a set of symptoms that manifest simultaneously) is linked to perfectionism, anxiety, and the high self-expectations I push beyond my limits. I experience a profound inner moral pain that constantly follows me. It may stem from an event experienced in my youth that caused great guilt. I feel like I am in the way and have great difficulty asserting myself. I do not feel up to the task; I feel as though I have fallen from a great height. I feel a lot of pressure from my surroundings, but deep down, it is myself who pushes me too hard. I experience anger, feeling as though I am not receivinglove from my circle. I no longer want to move forward. I prefer to cut myself off from my emotions, feeling no tenderness in my life. Where does this constant pain come from? It often occurs when I perform repetitive and monotonous tasks. It reminds me of the moral suffering of forcing myself indefinitely to take on responsibilities that I did not truly choose. I wanted to be faithful to certain principles that were in conflict with my deep needs. I am living a life that I do not enjoy…
I accept learning to take care of myself, to give myself the tenderness I need so much. I let the child within me live, the one who grew up too fast. I no longer have to be a superwoman (or superman): I just have to be myself. I have the right to be happy, to live in joy. I let my creativity express itself through play, the arts, sports, or any other activity that brings me greater well-being. It is thus that I flourish in great inner peace.
(Excerpt from Jacques Martel's Great Dictionary of Ailments and Diseases)
With all my friendship and comfort
